Starting all over or?
by LittleJ1988
Summary: Jenny left Upper East Side broken and depressed. She hurt so many people and now she has to go and live with her mom. Will she able to get better or nothing will change?
1. Chapter 1

Thiis is my first published story so I hope it wll be ok. I know thiis chapter is a bit short but I promise next ones will be longer.

It's about Jenny and what happened to her when she went to live with her mom in Hudson. I know some of the information isn't correct but it's writer's liberty :)

It'll probably be Drama/Angst

I don't own any of the characters

I hope you'll enjoy :)

''Bye, dad. I love you so much.'' Jenny sad as she entered a plane that will take her to Hudson. Her dad smiled at her but she knew him very well. It wasn't a sincere smile, he looked so tired, bags under his eyes were black and purple-it was a smile that told her he couldn't wait for her to leave.

''Love you too, Jenny. Say hello to your mom and I want you to know that this is still your home.'' They hugged and Jenny got on the plane, found her seat and sat down. She looked outside the window and saw her dad still looking at the plane. He just stood there, his hand waving at nothing in particular. She wanted to get out, hug him one more time but knew better. All the things she did for the past year were terrible and she wondered if her dad would ever be able to forgive her. That look she saw was...fear of what she could do next? Anger at what she'd become? Pity? Dan didn't even want to escort her to the airport saying that he had a project to finish. Realizing the fact that both her brother and dad didn't want to have naything to do with her, she started crying again for umpteenth time since yesterday. Tears were just falling down her face, her make up turning her face into black but she didn't really care. All her past mistakes, turning everybody against her, trying to ruin Blair and Serena's relationships and finally...sleeping with Chuck just came to her mind and tears started to fall even harder. She was aware of the fact that everybody was looking at her but she didn't mind.

The plane was in the air for a long time and Jenny still hadn't stopped crying. Everything was fine until she started thinking about all the lives she ruined and losing virginity to Chuck. _Stop it, Jenny, you're not going to think about that_ she told to herself. This last thing was something that had to stay buried deep down and mustn't be thought about, it was too painful, too embarrassing and se was sure if she even thought about it for 5 minutes she'd start screaming. That act was a proof that her life was out of control and reached the lowest point, that she finally crossed a line and became an ultimate bitch. No, she won't think about that! After another 15 minutes she managed to calm down enough to see that they're near Hudson.

Jenny was a bit afraid to see her mum because she wondered how much her ex husband told her about her behaviour and if they discussed any measures they'd take. Not that she was afraid of punishments but all this was new and she didn't know what she was getting herself into. On the Upper East Side she had a role, Queen bee, Queen J, now...who was she? She knew things had to change, her actions hurt too many people and she had to move. Although she acted cold hearted in her previous school, deep down she was now afraid of this big change.

Deep in her thoughts, Jenny didn't even notice that her plane landed. Only when the door opened and a flight attendant came to her and told her she had to leave, did she realize it was time to take a deep breath and accept anything a faith brought. Although it must have been 30 degrees Celsius outside, she didn't feel the sun on her face and her legs moved automatically. Remains of sorrow she felt last night after she had slept with Chuck and that morning on the plane were still there.

Her mom welcomed her at the airport ''Sweatheart, you're finally here! I've missed you so much!'' tears were definitely there in her eyes and she hugged her daughter tghtly. ''Let me look at you!'' Her arms left Jenny's body and she took a long look at her daughter. Her body was definitely too thin, arms and legs almost like two sticks. However, everything aside, her eyes showed deep sorrow, emptiness, self loathing even, fear. A young woman had no idea what happened, Rufust told her just basic things, but she suspected it must have been bad when her ex husband sent daughter he loved more than anything in the world to live with her. Judging by her daughter's clothes and make up, although it was nothing more than prejudice, she was really in a state where she needed all the help she could get. Her makeup was all over her eyes and it looked like she used the darkest shade she could find. As a result her beautiiful blue eyes were visibly smaller. She was dressed in a short-sleeved simple black dress that was knee length and it showed how thin she became. Short black jacket didn't improve the looks, actually it seemed her daughter came out of a horror movie.

However, now wasn't the time to think about all those bad things. She needed to take care of her daughter now. ''How are you, honey? Are you tired?'' Jenny looked at her and answered automatically, something she mastered the past year. ''I'm fine mom, I ate on the plane, can we just go home?'' She knew she said her first lie about eating on the plane but she eased her mind telling herself that it was just a small white lie.

A young woman looked at her one more time noot wanting to ask any more questions and just said ''Sure, honey, come on, a car is waiting for us outside.'' Two women left the building, stepped into hot sun, turned left and right there there was a new shiney Bentley. As they drove around the city, Jenny turned her head away from her mom and looked throught the window thnking about nothng in particular. Palm trees, a lot of people and cars were passing by them, the sun was shining but she didn't notice anything. She knew she should start a conversaton with her mom but words didn't come out. What would they talk about? How everybody hated her? She lost everybody's respect? Her sleeping with Chuck?


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you XxJennyChuckxX for the review, it's much appreciated :)))

And sorry that I haven't updated in two months, I've been working so much.

Jenny's mom saw that somethng was troublng her daughter but didn't know how to start a conversation. Her ex husband said very little and didn't give an explanation why he sent their daughter here. All that came out of his mouth was that Jenny needed some time away from the Upper East Side to thnk about everything. Her daughter and she always had a good relationship. However, not seeing each other for more than a year took its toll-sure, they could talk about the weather and lighter themes but seeing her daughter's sorrow whlie looking out of the window, she knew better than to start anything now. She'd wait until at least tomorrow.

The car finally pulled in front of the house, a young woman parked it in front of the garage. It was a small two story house enough for two people to live in it made of stone with simple white windows. Front door was paiinted in white and made of wood and in front of the house there was a small lawn with nothing but grass planted. Jenny expected at least some flowers since her mom couldn't grow them when she lived in Brooklyn.

''Here it is, honey. Your new home. Come inside, I'll show you everything'', Jenny's mom said with unnaturally happy voice while getting out of the car. Slamming the door she waited until her daughter also got out. Jenny looked at the house with curiosity, this was all new to her and she wondered how she's adapt. Last time she was here, her mom and she got on well, laughing and spending time together, doing grl stuff. This was the new house her mom bought a few months ago. It looked ok not that it mattered to the young girl, she left everything behind: her famiily, friends and school. This was the beginning of a new life but she didn't feel like it, it seemed like an escape and she never escaped from anything in her life. It just didn't feel right: a new house, new school, mom. She should have been in Manhattan dealing with all problems, not here in this horrible place. However, she knew that if she had stayed, everything would have reminded her of all the things she did wrong.

Jenny sighed carefully worrying that her mom might see her and think that she wasn't happy (hidng her feelings in front of parents was one thing she mastered in Manhattan).

''Let's go in, mom, house looks great'', Jenny said, went to the front door and opened it. There was a short hallway decorated only with two white cupboards that each stood on different sides of the walls that were painted in light blue and a stairway that led to the upper floor.

From the left Jenny entered a cozy living room that even had nice stone fireplace. Couch and armchairs were placed next to it and in the middle of the room there was a fluffy carpet and a large square dining table. It all felt cozy.

''So, what do you think? This is your home, honey, and I want you too feel welcomed . I know you had a long flight so it might be a good idea to show you your room so you can rest a bit until dinner is ready.''

''Yeah, that's a good idea mom'', Jenny replied lookng around the room a bit more until she followed her mom upstairs. This felt too much, all of it, she didn't want to stay here. Yes, it sounded like a good idea when her dad suggested to come here, but now...There were two bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs and her mom led her to the one on the right. Jenny opened the door and found herself in a small, cozy room with a large window opposite the door that filled with the room with sunshine. On the rght there was a big bed, table and chair next to it and wardrobe stood opposite the bed.

''I hope you like it honey, if you want to change something, we can go shopping later.'', her mom said hugging her daughter, ''I'll get your things and you can unpack and rest''.

''Thanks mom, it looks great'', her daughter replied and hugged her back. ''I'll just rest for a bit and come downstairs''

''Ok, honey, see you later'', Alison answered and closed the door.

Looking around the room, or better her prison, Jenny concluded there wasn't anything interesting to see. To be honest, she didn't even want to explore her surroundings because it felt like she was just thrown here, this wasn't her lfe. Brooklyn was all she knew. Suddenly, memories came back, of her dad, brother, Blair and everybody else that hated her. Her eyes instantly filled with tears that immediately started falling on her beautiful face. She sat on the floor, hid her face in hands and started sobbing uncontrollably. The pain was unbearable and it was something that had been growing inside of her since she left New York. Sobbings didn't stop for more than 10 minutes, it seemed like she cried out everything that had been going on in her life for the past year. Images kept crawling in her mind, her shattered dreams, hopes, failures. Finally, the sobbings stopped and she tried to make herself as little as possible by crawling into fetal position. Opening eyes for just a second, she noticed that a suitcase was just a metre away from her and a thought came into her head. She reached for it, opened it and found a little metal box, her friend in need, a least ''it'' wouldn't judge her, tell her how stupid she was or how disappointed ''it'' was in her. A small blade was in her hands in a matter of seconds and all she had to do was pull it acrros her wrist.


End file.
